Nakakabingi
…ang panghuhusga, ang mga halakhak
Nagsimula ang lahat sa isang pangarap
sa ilang gusot na papel at tinta
umungkat sa isip ng mga salita
ikinumpas ang lapis na hawak
Subalit nabuong mga tugma’y
tila salat sa kahulugan
walang damdaming nakalapat
HUWAD!
Pagkatao’y puno ng pagpapanggap
Buyo na sa papuri
Bingi na sa paghanga
“Magaling kang makata.”
Sa pagnanais na makawala sa ekspektasyon at kahihiyan
Isang musika’y pilit pinakinggan
Lumihis sa mundo ng kasinungalingan
Hindi ininda ang lungkot ng pag-iisa
Ngayon, musika’y unti-unting namagas
Mundong pinuntaha’y kumupas
Bumalik ang reyalidad na tinakbuhan
Ngunit prinsipyo ang pinairal:
“Kaya kong tapusin ang aking tula!”
Subalit paano mo wawakasan
Ang isang tulang walang simula?
April 3, 2003
Published Westernian Pioneer folio
SY 2004-05
Recently, headlines about a 13-year-old boy who shot himself after shooting a 16 year-old friend in a mall in Pampanga, captured public attention.
Well, it's a very sensitive issue and I definitely wouldn't want to go deep into the details. I'm sure everybody has at least an idea about it.
What happened may seem very absurd, but yes, it's real. At all seasons in a person's life, we go through different circumstances that test our character; I believe the 12-16 year-old bracket is one of the most critical stages. And I base this not only on observation, but also on personal experience.
"Huwad na Makata" has been my all-time favorite. I composed it when I was in high school, while I was so young and naive. And I will always regard it as the piece which started my journey in poetry, and the piece which witnessed how curious, how vulnerable, and how lost I was at that age.
Age 12-16 is actually the time when we start to step out of childhood and enter maturity. And I just learned later on that the loss that I felt during that time is what they call "identity crisis".
Wikipedia says "identity crisis" is the stage of adolescence when we are faced with physical growth, sexual maturation, and integrating our ideas of ourselves and about what others think of us.
Wikipedia says "identity crisis" is the stage of adolescence when we are faced with physical growth, sexual maturation, and integrating our ideas of ourselves and about what others think of us.
During that time, all I remember is that I had no one to openly talk to about certain things that I am confused of. I didn't know where to go. I underwent peer pressure. I didn't know if I'll be the goody-goody geek or the cool bad girl that seemed so "in". (I guess I chose to stay at the middle). I didn't know if I should try some stuff that was being tried by people at my age. (I was afraid of the consequences, so I didn't). I didn't know in which group will I be with: the well-known group of "saucy" girls, or the insignificant shy-types' group. I didn't know where to get substance and acceptance.
And I suppose this scenario is not unique for me; this is the scenario that most, if not all 12-16 year-old's encounter.
But as it is written... "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:30-31).
Now, you have an idea where this text is going... yes, to Jesus. He is all that the young people need.
Now, you have an idea where this text is going... yes, to Jesus. He is all that the young people need.
I so love it whenever I see young people at our Kids Church, who as young as they are, are being fed by the Word of God. They play, they dance, they sing, and they shout the love of Jesus.*
Well, it doesn't mean that merely because they attend Sunday school, their lives will be perfect and they are free from the troubles in this world. My heart just leaps in joy whenever I think that these kids, as they grow up, will not have a worry-free life, but a worry-proof one because as they continue to walk with God, they will have Him as the foundation of their life...
As a children's song says: "The wise man built his house upon a rock." Shame on me, but I thought it was just any other nursery song, until I read this in the Bible:
Well, it doesn't mean that merely because they attend Sunday school, their lives will be perfect and they are free from the troubles in this world. My heart just leaps in joy whenever I think that these kids, as they grow up, will not have a worry-free life, but a worry-proof one because as they continue to walk with God, they will have Him as the foundation of their life...
As a children's song says: "The wise man built his house upon a rock." Shame on me, but I thought it was just any other nursery song, until I read this in the Bible:
"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." (Matthew 7:24-27)
The former is my dream for every kid I see around. It is my prayer for my nephews and for my sons and daughters to be... That at a young age, they would know the love of Jesus, and as they grow up, they will be wise to build their life on a strong foundation: that is the Word of God.
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| My nephews, Marius and Marion. |
With that, they would no longer look for love and acceptance anywhere else, they would not be lost and confused with who they really are, because they would know that their identity is not in this world, but in Jesus Christ.
*Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14
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